I’m Going Granola On You People!

Okay, so some of you have heard the news and others haven’t. Starting Monday, February 1st I will be going Vegetarian for ONE month. Before you all start with your two cents and opinions and “What the heck are you thinking?” let me tell you why. This is part of a Facebook challenge/dare from another Army wife. (We Army Wives do some CraZy things.) It's not for suffering animals or fish that are in overcrowded tanks! I really started thinking about how healthy in general vegetarians and vegans are. I lost 20 pounds 2 years ago on Weight Watchers. It’s a great program, don’t get me wrong. It worked, but you can still eat “junk” and stay on plan. One of my New Year’s resolutions for 2010 is to eat healthy and limit the number of processed foods I eat. So, by going veggie for a month, I’m starting fresh and teaching myself healthy habits without the junk. Then I’ll incorporate my chicken, fish and lean meat back into my diet. That’s if I want to after a month of going vegetarian. I’m doing my research. I’ve got a 12-year Vegetarian and a 4-year Vegan in my corner helping me out and one fabulous friend, Tiffany doing this with me for the month.

I’ve been hit on the head and called Crazy, my friend Jelly is upset with me and all because I want to eat better. I’m just trying a different approach to eating better and people act as if it’s the end of the world. So, this blog will not only have my on-going humor to keep you entertained, but you’ll get a kick out of my adventure going veggie. :)

Just to let you all know, I’ve opted for the healthy Lacto-Ovo Vegetarian variety and I’m not going to be eating PB&J sandwiches with potato chips and Oreos for an entire month. Cross your fingers and wish me luck!

Sesame Street Characters and Their Un-healthy Habits

Facebook Fun in the Morning

Ellie: nothing like 2 cups of coffee, a political debate, and Sesame St to start off the day! Yikes!



Nikki: I ♥ some Sesame Street!

Ellie: Elmo is my hero!


Nikki: I'm a Grover girl! Fuzzy & Blue!


Tiffany: What's up with the snuffalupagus? You know he has to snort cocaine the way he's always sniffling and his eyes are so red...I'm just saying...


Nikki: Don't be Snuffy bashing on here! He has allergies!


Ellie: ha ha!


Tiffany: Really Nikki? He's had those "Allergies" for an awful long time I think it's time for Snuffy to take a little trip to the Sesame Rehab!


Nikki: I've often wondered if Cookie Monster is high and Grover on crack with the waving arms all the time? What's your opinion?




Tiffany: I think Abby Cadaby is the dealer she's always waving around that magic wand and strutting her stuff!


Nikki: LOL Good Theory! Where's Bob and Gordon when you need them to set everyone straight?




Tiffany: Out behind the schoolhouse with Mary Jane!




Nikki: Is that Betty Lou's cousin?




Tiffany: Who's Betty Lou? I'm so confused! LoL I think it's "Puff the magic dragons" cousin...

Nikki: See. This is her.
muppet.wikia.com
Betty Lou is a young girl from Sesame Street, and has been variously played over the years by Jim Henson, Frank Oz (in the game show "Pick Your Pet", where she's called Lucy Jones), ...

Tiffany: Oh yeah! I remember her! LoL Probably one of the Hoochies!

Nikki: LOL

Cryptic Text: Had to eat ‘margaret’ on my bread and about threw up thinking about it.

Has anyone read that email going around about the difference between butter and margarine? My sister, Mande sent it to me and I no longer have margarine in my fridge. There are just too many if-y things about margarine. Here the link to the story. Please read before proceeding, if you want the full effect of the story behind the Margaret on my bread.
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/b/butter-margarine.htm

However, while on my romantic weekend getaway with the husband, we ate at this awesome place, The County Line. For an appetizer we ordered a ½ loaf of homemade bread and with it came some honey –flavored margarine. I about threw up thinking about the butter vs. margarine email while eating my delicious bread. I told my sister via text message about the bread and margarine while waiting for my flight. My 12 year old niece, Emma was texting for my sister while she drove the kids to school. (It’s illegal to text and drive in NC.) This is what took place.

Nikki : (via text in Texas) I had to eat margarine at dinner and about threw up thinking about it.


Emma (in car with her mother, Mande in NC) – Mom! Aunt Nikki sent a message.


Mande – Ok, read it.


Emma – (reading) Had to eat MARGARET at dinner and about threw up thinking about it.


Mande – WHAT?


Emma – Had to eat MARGARET at dinner and about threw up thinking about it.


Mande – Ate what Margaret?


Emma – I don’t know. That is what it says.


Mande: (thinking) I’m driving racking my brain to try to remember if we have the word Margaret “code” for anything.


Mande- Are you sure it says Margaret? Give me the f’ing phone.


Emma –That’s what it says. Here.


Mande – OH MY GOD Emma, learn how to freakin’ read. It says margarine! Why would your Aunt Nikki eat Margaret?


Emma – I don’t know. Sorry.


Mande – Geeze, child. I love you. Get out. Have a good day.


Emma gets out of the car and walks into school.

Mande-I call you (Nikki) a short time later on to talk to you about eating Margaret at dinner.


......And that’s how I ate Margaret on my bread at dinner, according to my pre-teen niece.

Mowing Down the Elderly to get to your Husband at Terminal 1.

Okay, so Granny caught a flight from ATL to SAT. I saw her on the plane about 5 rows up from me and Mohawk Baby. She was a cute granny. Well, until I mowed her down in the breezeway at gate A13. I drank a whole Diet Coke while in the air and then hitting some “turbulence” didn’t help my bladder. And I was excited about seeing my Husband. All I hear is “Marshall, they’re running me over! I told your cheap ass to buy First Class tickets, but NO! You didn’t!”

I quietly laugh while I was half-ass running up the terminal to hug my Husband. I hope Granny’s return flight was upgraded. Or I’ll be mowing her down again on the return flight to Atlanta.

Mohawk Baby and Skyy Vodka flying into SAT from ATL

So, as I flew from Atlanta to San Antonio and had a 2 hour layover in the biggest freaking airport. I got see the cutest little boy (well, not as cute as my two) with this Mohawk. I just couldn't take my eyes off this child. He was about 18 months and traveling with his mother. Maybe I was fascinated with him because I was missing my boys, but he kept me entertained during my flight, along with Celia. Okay, here comes the snack cart down the aisle. So, Mom orders her Diet Coke, Skyy Vodka, a $3 can of Pringles and free cookies, while Mohawk Baby is asleep in her arms. As a Southern-born person and raised in a state that doesn’t sell alcohol before noon on Sunday, I take interest in the people who drink before noon. Mind you, that we left Atlanta at 10:48am, but we have an hour time difference flying into Texas. So, it’s really about 10:15 in the morning as these people start drinking when they’re able to push the snack carts out. Just about 5 minutes later, Mohawk Baby has just woke up and looks a little parched from the flight. Whoa…he reaches over and finishes off Mommy’s coke and vodka. Let’s just say that Mohawk Baby is a pleasant child the remainder of the flight. And really people, I don’t make this stuff up. It really happens.

*Disclaimer: This photo is not of the actual Mohawk Baby. Well, it might be at 1 month old.

Leaving for the airport! This should be fun!

Leaving for the airport! My in-flight educational reading material is the book entitled "Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom" by Celia Rivenbark. This should be fun! So, I’m just about to fly for the first time. I got some advice at 3am from a friend in California about my flight and to take some deep breaths. It worked. I didn’t throw up in my pocketbook. I was worried about that. I can deal with blood and guts and even watched a thoractomy for crying out loud. Are you wondering about the thoractomy? Chest tube insertion…Google it. Very bloody and involves a doctor or nurse practitioner inserting their finger between someone’s ribs, into their lung and inserting a tube in that hole for drainage.

Okay, so on with the story. I did well. I remembered my friend’s advice and now I LOVE flying. So, the second leg of my flight, no window seat like the first flight to Atlanta, I’m stuck between two gentlemen and I'm staring at Mohawk Baby. So, in the midst of getting comfortable in the coach seat, I pull out my book. Yep, Celia Rivenbark came along to Texas with me. Girls from North Carolina have to stick together. I sat there reading and about to die laughing, because of this book. My two gentlemen passengers thought I was CRAzY! (Random laughing in an airplane doesn’t sit well with others.) I tried to stifle my laughs, but GOD BLESS Tiffany for giving me this book. I needed it. I was an emotional wreck. I was excited to see my husband. My legs shaved for the first time since Christmas Exodus. I missed my two boys, who I left in the capable hands of my sister-in-law. All these emotions and here’s Celia making me laugh like all get out! (It’s a Southern phrase.) All while being entranced by the Mohawk Baby across the aisle. Then I think back to my first flight of the day and remember looking out the window. There on the wing of the airplane, it says "NO STEP AFT". I immediately begin laughing with no book in hand and think, "Well, no shit!"

If you experience writer's block, just travel.

Okay, so I did my first plane trip and did it solo. I traveled to Texas to see my husband for a weekend getaway. It was wonderful. I know I’ve been slack on blogging lately, but I’ve had some writer’s block. Good news! No longer will I have writer’s block. All I have to do is travel. I have more topics to cover than I know what to do. Here’s a sample:

Leaving for the airport! My in-flight educational reading material is the book entitled "Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom" by Celia Rivenbark. This should be fun!

The Cute Mohawk Baby and Skyy Vodka flying into San Antonio (SAT) from Atlanta (ATL)

Mowing Down the Elderly to get to your Husband at Terminal 1.

Crazy People in the Park and Creative Panhandler Tactics. (rolls eyes and say’s “Not today.”)

San Antonio Riverwalk Michelob Ultra Mud Parade & Did she have a half-eaten hotdog hanging out her mouth?

Airplane rides are like a giant rollercoaster ride and “Look at those cotton ball clouds!”

This hotel is so fancy, we’ve got L-shaped sheets from Hollywood.

I don’t remember much about The Alamo, but that building over there was in Miss Congeniality.

I walked 14 miles and didn’t know it.

I saw the world’s largest cowboy hat –but decided against taking a photo incase I was shot.

BTW-Did you know our hotel is haunted?

Segway Tours for the Rich & Famous

Cryptic Text: Had to eat ‘margaret’ on my bread and about threw up thinking about it.

Haven’t seen any Pants on the Ground in San Antonio….must not be any fools here.

Eye rolls in Texas via NC.

This dude just picked his nose on the plane for 40 straight minutes. Wonder if he’s in the gold mining business?

I can drive from the airport to the house in 45 minutes. Is that too fast?

Sesame Street Characters and their un-healthy habits.

Hope you all enjoy the next blogs featured. I might have enough here to publish a book. Thanks for the encouragement from my fellow Army Wife for continuing my blog, when I though all hope was lost. I enjoyed every minute of my trip and can’t wait to return to San Antonio.