Leaving for the airport! My in-flight educational reading material is the book entitled "Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom" by Celia Rivenbark. This should be fun! So, I’m just about to fly for the first time. I got some advice at 3am from a friend in California about my flight and to take some deep breaths. It worked. I didn’t throw up in my pocketbook. I was worried about that. I can deal with blood and guts and even watched a thoractomy for crying out loud. Are you wondering about the thoractomy? Chest tube insertion…Google it. Very bloody and involves a doctor or nurse practitioner inserting their finger between someone’s ribs, into their lung and inserting a tube in that hole for drainage.
Okay, so on with the story. I did well. I remembered my friend’s advice and now I LOVE flying. So, the second leg of my flight, no window seat like the first flight to Atlanta, I’m stuck between two gentlemen and I'm staring at Mohawk Baby. So, in the midst of getting comfortable in the coach seat, I pull out my book. Yep, Celia Rivenbark came along to Texas with me. Girls from North Carolina have to stick together. I sat there reading and about to die laughing, because of this book. My two gentlemen passengers thought I was CRAzY! (Random laughing in an airplane doesn’t sit well with others.) I tried to stifle my laughs, but GOD BLESS Tiffany for giving me this book. I needed it. I was an emotional wreck. I was excited to see my husband. My legs shaved for the first time since Christmas Exodus. I missed my two boys, who I left in the capable hands of my sister-in-law. All these emotions and here’s Celia making me laugh like all get out! (It’s a Southern phrase.) All while being entranced by the Mohawk Baby across the aisle. Then I think back to my first flight of the day and remember looking out the window. There on the wing of the airplane, it says "NO STEP AFT". I immediately begin laughing with no book in hand and think, "Well, no shit!"
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