It's Lellow and We're Going to Taksas!

My niece Grace (my sister Julie’s daughter) is 4 and just outright hilarious. She comes up with some random stuff sometimes, like zombies and Michael Jackson. If you ask her, she’ll tell you all about Michael Jackson..”He died.” She says lellow instead of yellow. But to hear her talk with her southern accent is a sight to behold. She brings a smile to my face when she has a conversation with me (very seriously with her hands on her hips).

I read the cutest thing yesterday on FB.

Julie's Wall-to-Wall with Clay

Grace: " I had a dream about Uncle Clay lasterday."
Me: "Oh, really?"
Grace: "He was coming from back Taksas. And his sweater was choking him."
You like this.
Clay: Omg hilarious. That is sweet.

Even funnier, because I’ve never seen Clay in a sweater the 11 ½ years we’ve been together. Maybe I need to tell Grace next time we talk that we're going to Taksas and looking for the Lellow Rose!

And these are the Days of Our Lives…..

This might turn into a weekly "special" blog post. Poor Tiff in Texas, her new ArmyWife life is more interesting than a soap opera on NBC. So…this week’s story is about Merton, C.C. and Hershey. Merton is an athletic 60 year old male who is married to C.C. a 43 year old woman who is a chronic chain-smoker since the age of 3, who bore them a child named Oh Henry. Oh Henry is 15 months old and enjoys playing on the jungle gym at the park nearby. Hershey a strapping 38 year old maintenance man who works at The Willows Apartment complex to help support his gambling habit of Texas Hold'em.

Tiffany: Todd why are you dragging me into the bathroom?
Todd: (whispering, his face beat red and out of breath from running) Our neighbor C.C. is having an affair with Hershey the maintenance man. That child of hers is really his, not Merton’s. I overheard them talking in the hall, they didn’t see me, but I believe that I know something that I’m not supposed to.
Tiffany: (hitting Todd on the shoulder) And you’re involving me in this….because?
Todd: Ouch…you’re here all day and he fixes things at the apartment.

Meanwhile…
Back in FacebookLand, I've never laughed so hard until I heard Tiffany tell me all about the love affair between the Crazy Cat Lady and the Maintenance Man at her apartment complex.

Nikki-Just wait...it's going to be great! My muse is back.....I'm still laughing at picturing Todd's face trying to tell you the juicy gossip from down the hall.
Tiffany-Oh my God! It was soooo funny!

Oh and of course, I'll share my blonde moment on FB for the day.

Tiffany- According To Nikki I'm so exhausted because I'm having "Octagons"! LoL!!! Thankful for my friend who always knows what to say to make me laugh! :o)
Nikki- Well what do you call it? Give me a break! I had a long workout at the gym, two kids in the backseat and random people asking if I needed a tire change all because I was sitting at the end of the road so I wouldn't lose service while talking on the phone with you! :P

I believe congratulations are in order for Tiffany and her "Octagons"! I'm so happy for you! :)


(BTW-I got the name Hershey from a real maintenance man that works at the hospital I used to.)

Just stopping by to make a purchase....

It's been an incredibly LONG week....and it's only Monday. I've had a lot going on the last few weeks...... planning Ayden's 3rd birthday, planning for my first airplane ride with the boys (solo), planning our trip to San Antonio, worrying that my husband's Fit for Duty will be scheduled before we get to Texas (that's a whole other can of worms), getting Ayden transferred to the school system for his therapy to continue after his 3rd birthday, Chris being asked to be in a friend's wedding this summer as the ring bearer and then dealing with the daily duties of a housewife. It's been crazy around here. Sometimes, I feel like I've bit off more than I can chew at times, but I'm still sane and I've been keeping up with what's going on.

Then to top this feeling of being slightly overwhelmed, Chris brought home papers in his backpack today for Kindergarten Registration. I broke down...just because he's my first child (he's gotten so big, so fast) and then I realize,

"Are we even going to be living in NC come August?"

I don't even know where to begin, other than just planning like we will be here come August. Military Installations are used to dealing with kids transferring during the school year, but will I?

So, I'm just going to stop by the paddle store before I head upstream and pray for the best. :)

Job Seeking...Look No Further!

If you don't mind having

4 slimy co-workers

and a boss that is a real rat,

this might be your dream job!

Blogging at it's very best!

This is going to be great....blogging on the go! Coming soon.

Crazy Things to Dream About.....

I must be worried about my friend Tiffany. I had a dream about her last night. I had this crazy dream about me calling to warn her in the middle of the night. I was screaming "Wake up! There's a strange lady at your door!" Tiffany opens the door with her cell phone in hand and then she begins beating the bejesus out of the strange lady with a Buzz Lightyear toy with the other hand. If I were psychic, I would believe that this is the cue for Tiffany and her family to move to on-post housing. I guess I fear for her safety from the Crazy Cat Lady in the apartment complex. By the way- this dream was not drug induced, just a random weird and crazy dream.

Things in Life that give me the Heebie-Jeebies....

In no particular order,

these are somethings that just down right frighten me.

Clowns-I don't like them.

Stephen King movies-he's a weirdo.

Cameltoes-they're just not right in so many ways.

El Caminos-plain yucky.

Vans with Paintings on the side-aka "Rape Wagons" playing

"Chevy Van" by Sammy Johns. Creepy.

FannyPacks-no need to elaborate.

Mom Jeans-SNL did a great job to promote sales.

(click above for advertisement)

Scary things you can't see in movies-

like any movie made my M. Night Shyamalan

PeopleofWal-Mart.com-just scary and not enough words to explain.

Jack Hanna's teeth-as pointed out by Tiffany.

Yucky-Yellow Crusty Toenails-so gross.

Letting a body part hang off the bed-

because something under the bed will get me.

And if I lived in Texas.......

Chupacabras-The goat suckers

Jeepers Creepers...where'd you get those peepers?

Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow!

I've Had Another Celebrity Run In...Yes, it's true. I saw Elvira!

Friday night, while dining at a local Pizza Hut with my sister, niece and my two small children, we had a celebrity sighting. We were in awe at the Mistress of the Dark and the path her life has took. I never thought that I'd get see another celebrity in public, but it was pure luck.

I took a poll on Facebook to find out which celebrities some of my friends met. I learned that everyone gets lucky meeting a celebrity from time to time. Just like my Facebook friends and their neat stories:

Cindy- Ron Howard :) I waited on him at the Village Tavern.

Stacy-Joe Nichols at the BBQ festival a few years ago.

Karen- Tom Cruise- I provided EMS coverage when he rented Charlotte Motor Speedway to practice driving for Days of Thunder.

Angela-Evil Kneivel, he called for room service, hot dogs and when he said who he was I said, yeah right... I was wrong!

Annie-me
Julie-Annie & George Clooney
Tim-Jerry Reed, played a show with him in Morganton a few years ago with the Fox Brothers.
Ellie-John Major -you might say 'who?' but he was prime minister of Great Britain at the time! I played guitar for him! Oh and the Duchess of Kent...

Nikki-Wow Guys! Tim-Did you play "East Bound and Down" with him?

Tim-No but we were "loaded up and bussin'" lol. I played with the Fox Brothers and we played first. Jerry's band played next. It was an awesome night. Big crowd too!

Tiffany-I've met Neal Mccoy, John Cena, Eddie Guerrero (Before he died), but my favorite was Charlie Daniels!!!
Seth-Drew Carey, Mimi, Serena Williams, Keyshawn Johnson, Sid Vicious. Mike Tyson, Charlie Daniels, Paul Brandt....

Lori- Lanie Pope...WXII NEWS 12 LOL

I also remember hearing the tales of Celebrity sighting from other friends. My friend who saw Rick Flair in the Charlotte-Douglas Airport one time, and my husband's friend Carl was a cousin to Michael Jordan (I think that's what he told us.), my friends Brian and Dan (both were in the Human Blender 2001 from the video last week) stalked Andy Griffith's home in Manteo when we were living in Rodnathe. (Yes, I had several nights in Rodanthe...minus wild horses that far south on the coast, it just doesn't happen.) Dan & Brian got past the gate and returned to tell us all the tale of the dangling green bean from the shirtless Matlock and that he attended Mount Olivet UMC in Manteo. Or the time, my sister Julie went to the Extreme Home Makeover going on in our hometown last November, met Jewel and her husband(the rodeo star, who's name no one can ever remember) and even grabbed Ty's butt.

In this picture,Julie is standing next to Ty (in the cream colored shirt) and we can't see her left hand, can we? Look at the dude's face, something is clearly going on back there. So celebrity run-ins happen quite frequently to people I know. My brother Josh, has met Richard Petty, my friend Amber has met so many rock stars, I don't know where to begin, but she met Gwen Stefani (awesome), Clay's Aunt Merritt has met Obama and about every Democrat in D.C. in the last 5-10 years(Wow, if you're into politics, which I'm not). My cousin Jamie rode in an elevator with an Olsen twin while in NY, Clay has met Chris Weinke (former FSU & Charlotte Panther's football player), other Panther players, most of WWE wrestlers (he has something in common with Tiffany), Chocolate Myers (some racing guy we talked while in Big Lots), Chris Daughtry, and even Vanilla Ice. Clay met the lengendary college football coach, Bobby Bowden. I've ran into (literally) Eric Montross in Wal-Mart and while I was wearing the shoes that Mugsy Bogues signed. I've met Richard Childress (who, by the way is a very unattractive man), Bob Timberlake (an NC artist), and even looked at the same DvD section while standing next to Dale Jr. in the Concord Mills Mall (but, Clay met him at a bar). But, Elvira has topped the list, replacing my autographed picture of John Travolta. Elvira has changed in the past few years, but here she is still..........

Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow

My Heart's on Fire For You!

This picture really doesn't give you the full effect of a celebrity encounter, but it WAS her, complete with hair & make-up, my sister and I were in shock. I really wish I would have taken several pictures, but you know camera phones just don't snap that quick. If we've just seen Elvira, could Elvis be next on our list? Until next time, happy celebrity sightings!

People are Strange..When You're a Stranger....

Have you ever made friends with people based on common ground and then found out how crazy they are? You talk, find out similar interests and hope that it's enough to base a friendship on. But, what if they have skeletons in their closets? I'm talking super scary skeletons! Random things that are just blurted out in public and you're like....Okay?!? And then the "new friend" expects you to digest their comment like they had just said, "Don't paint your kitchen red, the color red makes you hungry."

Okay?!? Now, you have the feeling that your "new friend" has recently been featured on Dog the Bounty Hunter and it lead to a 4 part episode ending with Beth cussing and beating the crap out of them.

Well, none of this has happened to me yet, but I'm the sounding board, the Dr. Phil for my friends and I've heard some CrAzY stories in the past month from some of my fellow Army wives. I listen to my friends, give sound advice and I don't charge for my services.

What would you do if you had just met someone and then they go totally psycho on you? What if you really haven't known them long enough to piss them off and they go off the deep end about dinner on Thursday night? (By the way, my dinner Thursday night was really good.) I've heard enough to want to be a recluse when my family and I move, sticking solely to FB for contact with the outside world....Heed my advice!

Is making new friends as an adult really that hard? Apparently so. Most of my friends are the one's I grew up, some people I've worked with over the years and kept in touch with and a few Army wives that I met. By the way, none of the one's I know are weird or crazy....yet. (Just joking!)

Good luck in your adventures for new friendships!

And Yes, that chick is posing with Dog for

a picture in the freezer section at Wal-Mart.

One word......

CLASSY!

The Gospel According to DJ Lance Rock?!?!

I've been sucked into GabbaLand.

It's similar to what you've probably imagined what an LSD trip might be like. Lots of colors, Indie Rock music, a skinny black male wearing orange spandex, a large vast and strange land straight from a Dr. Suess book and some random looking characters. It's fun, comes without the side effects and only lasts about 30 minutes.

I recently stumbled upon this blog post entitled "Yo Gabba Gospel" and was floored. (Please take the time to read this post.) Did this dude just say that Plex is a metaphorical Jesus? Complete with Bible verses in the blog post, it was lots of food for thought. (Really, a Party in my Tummy!)

This was a lot to take in...so, I consulted Tiffany on her opinion.

Inbox Message from Tiffany-March 4th @ 12:20pm-

HMMMMM...I think that is pretty much the most ridiculous thing I've ever read! Duh all kids shows follow the concepts of doing "good" things, they could have pretty much fit any title into the article. It's not like we're teaching our kids "Hey go burn down that building and piss on that old woman's leg, use the F word as much as you can while you're at it!" If we were my kids would be allowed to watch Family Guy with me! (Which they are not and I as an adult have never had the urge to piss on an old woman's leg! LoL) I felt like the Author was reaching just a bit on some of the examples but it makes for excellent conversation and a few hilarious jokes! Blog away my friend Blog away! I can't wait to read it! :o)

But, as Tiffany and I both know you can take about anything and put a religious twist on it.
Like the following books (available at Amazon.com):

The Gospel According to the Simpsons

The Gospel According to Dr. Suess

The Gospel According to Peanuts

The Gospel According to Harry Potter

Looking for God in Harry Potter

Finding God in the Lord of the Rings

Walking with Frodo

An excerpt from Amazon product descriptions:

"J.R.R. Tolkien was a believer in Christ who wove his faith into his writing. His heroes fight a war against the forces of darkness—a war in which every decision counts. Walking with Frodo leads you through 9 pairs of choices—darkness or light, betrayal or loyalty, deception or honesty, just to name a few—and reveals what the Bible has to say about each. This young adult devotional will help apply those truths to decisions you make every day, sending you on a life-changing journey of your own. Are you ready for the journey?"

I'm not a huge LotR (Lord of the Rings) fan, but I'll give Tolkien and C.S. Lewis (Narnia) props for writing about Christianity in their books.

Maybe God is talking to us all, through all the hype and media we have in our lives. It's an interesting thought. However, are these stories and books just modern parables to teach everyone right from wrong, just like the bible?

Random Thought of the Day:

If DJ Lance Rock is God, does that make Jack Black the Holy Ghost?

(no pun intended because the fact that he is a white man)

Again, "Kudos" to the creators of the show Yo Gabba Gabba for dropping acid in their 20's or it just maybe the fact that they have unusually wonderful imaginations, with the end result of making an interesting show for children and making their parents ponder the real meaning of it all.

I Miss Texas......

Like a Rhinestone Cowboy....

Riding out on a horse in a

star-spangled rodeo!

This song always puts a smile on my face, it's like the un-official theme song to Texas. I want to watch Lonesome Dove, old episodes of Dallas and Gunsmoke after I listen to this song. It's about like "Holiday Road" makes you want to travel cross country with your family, call your husband Sparky and pray that a dog didn't wet on your sandwiches. I have no desire to call Clay "Sparky", just Big Tex!

I just want you to ask yourself one thing.

If you were... if you were me,

wouldn't you do the same thing for your children?

I'm making preparations to fly to Texas with the boys to see their Daddy for the first time since Christmas. We're set out to leave in less than 30 days. Since things can change at any moment with the Army, we're booking everything last minute. The whole "Hurry Up & Wait" can quickly turn into "We're Doing this Now", so Thank God! I'm very flexible and not dead set in my ways. I think that being flexible and being able to go with the flow is valuable ArmyWife trait. Maybe some wives' would beg to differ, but I think I would have gone stir crazy before now, if I hadn't been the way I am.
I'm beginning to slowly see the big picture, the grand scheme of it all, the way are lives will be together in the future and this is just one of the many separations our family will face. You've got to just relax and give it to God. If not, I'd already be driving the Wagon Queen Family Truckster in metallic pea to Texas! Oh and in case you missed it....Clark and Ellen have been spotted in the Truckster!



In the wise words of ELO you got to....

Accroches-toi à ton rêve

Accroches-toi à ton rêve

Quand tu vois ton bateau partir

Quand tu sens ton coeur se briser

Accroches-toi à ton rêve.

Hold on tight to your dream

Hold on tight to your dream

When you see the shadows falling

When you hear that cold wind calling

Hold on tight to your dream.

Oh, yeah

Hold on tight to your dream

Yeah, hold on tight...

To your dream.

V is for what.....

Yep..Paranormal Romance. That's the new rave in the best sellers series. Vampire love tops the list.

Some include:

Twilight Saga

Sookie Stackhouse

Betsy Queen of the Vampires

I've read all three of the above mentioned series. Let me just say they go from PG-XXX. I thought after seeing the Sookie Stackhouse books getting turned into a HBO series was unable to be topped, try reading about Betsy or Fred (however, she's a mermaid and doesn't fit into this category of vampire love. She's a whole other can of worms.) Betsy makes Bella look G-rated and she makes Sookie (even though she's on HBO) look like PG-13.

Okay, so vampires have lots of things in common......

(I'm comparing the 3 above series.)

1. At least one character is a telepath.

2. At least one character is a werewolf.

3. Characters in the Sookie & Betsy series feed on people without killing them, Edward did too, but it was to save a life and it was hard for him to stop.

Sounds like Stephanie, MaryJanice and Charlaine were in cahoots with each other while writing their books. I smell conspiracy.

Can we count the ways?

Twilight published in 2005.

Sookie published in 2001.

Betsy published in 2004.

Maybe Stephanie stole some ideas...I'm just saying.

Which leads me to another wonderful series...Harper Connelly.

I just finished the last book in the series, simply wonderful. I believe that if Harper was ever turned into a made for TV/Movie series, please let this man be cast as Matthew Lang...Nick Nolte this is your destiny as an actor and right up your alley. I'm sure they could use your mug shots in the story line, you know, since the police knew Lang was shady....haha!

So, let's turn up some My Chemical Romance, because we all know....

Vampires Will Never Hurt You!

Bought To You By The Letter V.....

I have requests from my friend Tiffany all the time. This is just for you!

Tiffany- Can you hurry up and blog some more please my night is so booooring I need a little something to laugh about when I'm trying not to puke my guts up at 2 am!

Clay-You know what’s funny? Having a Mexican say the letter V.


V is for Vomit....

Last night, my youngest wasn't feeling well. I got up and checked on him often to see if he was still running a fever. My boys share a room, so I check both heads...must be a Mom thing. Well, the last time I got up to check on the boys, the youngest came back to bed with me....an hour later the oldest came and got into bed with us. Within five minutes, we were all asleep, then something woke me....it was my oldest poking my arm.

4 year old Son: Mommy, I don't speak bubbles.

Mommy: Okay.

Sleeptalking...it's funny. I guess since I'm a light sleeper, I hear every noise and random talking at night. Especially when your husband is asleep and says "Stupid Faggots!" That's when I wake up laughing.

So, we're dressed and on the way to school this morning or so I thought. The boys are loaded up in the car and we're off. It's a 3 mile drive to the Elementary school Chris attends. We made it to the end of our road and I hear....."Ralph!" and purple vomit goes everywhere.

Which reminds me of yesterday, I went to lunch with my BFF Jen and her little boy Ma-Ma (pronounced May-may and that's not his real name.) We went to this AWESOME Chinese/Japanese/American buffet (drooling) which had everything you could think of, EXCEPT the awesome green beans that every other Chinese buffet in America serves...I'll let it slide. Anyway, Ma and I are at the booth eating to our hearts content. Jen is refilling her plate (at this point in her pregnancy, she's able to eat and travel. YAY!) So, Ma-Ma and I are sitting there, he shoves a fry in his mouth, chews and then...right back out. Yelling loudly in the restaurant that he "Vomited" and everyone there knew before we left that the little blond haired boy vomited and then kept on eating.

A word to the wise, do NOT give your child Applejack's and grape juice for breakfast if they've been feeling kinda puny. So, I have the whole curdled milk and purple vomit thing going on in the back of the car.....and my husband isn't here to clean it. Arghh! I need Teeny Little Super Guy, he'd know how to fix the problem.

BTW-My little one is feeling a bit better.....