Crazy Things I've Heard People Say......

You hear them blue lights?

4 year old son-Dookie-flage.

Mom- What's that? Is it’s like camouflage?

4 year old son - Yes.

I’m glad we don’t have a Smell-o-phone, I’d have to mute it.

4 year old son- A Police Pullover?

Mom- NO! Your fleece pullover.

And then there's my husband sending me Chinese smiles via text messages I)

And a web-fight between NebraskaKnitter and Tefi: http://twitpic.com/15az8p

Too stupid not to share......

Drinking Like A Fish.....

I’m needing to close the

1300 mile gap in my marriage.

It's taken its toll on me today.

Ever had a really good day and then out of nowhere turns to pure $hit?

Well, that was today. Hence the giant Appletini that sits before me. I'm letting the kids eat as many cookies as they want and stay up as late as they wish tonight. Because I just don't care!

The past 6 months I've been positive, up-beat and never acted like the world was falling apart. But, TODAY has just turned it all around and put it into perspective. I see all my ArmyWife friends moving and making their preparations to reunite with their spouses and begin their journey together as a Military family. These are the same women that were along side me during the roughest 10 weeks of our lives (Basic Combat Training). I should be doing the same as them, traveling cross country to PCS (permanent change of station) with their families and where the hell am I? Still here waiting. I can't blame anyone for this. It was totally unforeseen, Clay's injury and being placed on MedHold, but come on!

I'm tired of being the visual Mom & Dad to my kids, separated from my husband and just the day to day of being apart. Clay's tired of being the man on the phone and the man in the pictures. I know I can count my blessings that he is still stateside and not overseas. It's rough, I know this is part of what we signed up for when Clay joined the Military, but seriously....Why did today have to be the day for me to start feeling like $hit?

Let me go ahead and put this out there....DO NOT bring up this topic with me or I'm liable to rip your head off. I'm venting....and that's what a blog is for. Not for your personal entertainment or just so you know what's going on in my life. Don't feel sorry for me or have pity on my family, because if you've never been in this exact situation as a wife or husband, don't go there with me! My family's situation is unique...so, please spare me the comments.

On with my rant.....

It's been hard. I've put up with enough crap in the last 6 months to build a small village out of it. I've endured enough drama to last a lifetime. I just want my family together, just the FOUR of us. Not sitting here at my desk, typing my heart out and peeling my arm off a sticky place where my drink spilt on a Friday night secretly wishing Clay would walk through the door. I want to be out meeting other Army families, playing board games/cards, scheduling play-dates and everything else that comes with it. I've been stuck in limbo too long and so has Clay.

"Hurry up and Wait"...We're living US Army slogan one day at a time.

I want to go home...where ever that may be.

Random-ness At It's Best!

In response to yesterday's blog post, here's yet again a Facebook message between Tiffany & Nikki. (OhmyGosh! I just referred to myself in 3rd person. Lord, Help me!)

Tiffany likes this.

Tiffany
I CAN'T BREATHE I'M LAUGHING SO HARD!!!! LOL!!!!!!!
7 minutes ago ·

Nikki
You like the Finger Raper, don't you?
7 minutes ago ·

Tiffany
It scarred me for life and either Jack Hanna has never seen a dentist or he's chained smoked since he left the womb somebody get the man some Crest!
5 minutes ago ·

Nikki
I'm googling Jack Hanna's teeth now! LOL
about a minute ago ·

Nikki
They must airbrush them for internet photos and his tv show. I'm slightly disappointed.
2 seconds ago ·

Tiffany

Look at the picture you have on your blog you can kind of see it!

a second ago .

BTW- My friend is stealing Wi-Fi from the Chick-fil-a in Texas. I find this hilarious and a very inventive way of cutting down monthly bills. Maybe if I move to Texas I can get free Wi-Fi from Popeye's. ("Don't move the computer! It gets signal right THERE!")

Hairy Cletus.

What the heck is a Hairy Cletus?

This is a Hairy Cletus.

I remember back in high school when we named the contents that were extracted from a friend's hairbrush "Hairy Cletus" and to this day I laugh when I clean out my hairbrush at home.

Read the Adventures of Hairy Cletus. (Warning: If you have ate in the last 30 minutes, refrain from clicking here and I am not responsible for you getting sick, if you did.) Sad part is this is a medical condition, complete truth here.

The Best of the Late 80's & Early 90's

Salute Your Shorts- What the heck was Nickelodeon think when they cast these kids? Would you like your very own "Camp Anawanna" t-shirt? $22.99 (not including S&H)

Legends of the Hidden Temple - I loved that show!

Ahh! Real Monsters-Season 1 is on my Ipod.

Disney's The B.R.A.T. PATROL ~ enough said. (DVD release please?) I remember we taped this off TV onto our BETA! I remember the day I copied it off YouTube and downloaded it to my Ipod. (Yeah, that was yesterday.)

BTW- Disney please bring back the Sunday Night Movie....until then just watch it here.

Captain N - The GameMaster.....he had the coolest belt with the Nintendo controller to stop time and NES Zapper (gun) on it.

The NES or Super NES...did everyone get that for Christmas one year?

Did you ever play King's Quest III on your home computer (before they were referred to as PC's) or did you get your fix playing Oregon Trail on the Apple IIe (the old green screen) at school?

Honorable mentions to the following: The Goonies, The Great Outdoors, Hey Arnold!, Doug, Blossom, TGIF on ABC (I miss you Balki and Cousin Larry!), big hair Bands (Poison and don't forget Nelson) and their awesome music and Saturday Morning Cartoons: Gem and the Holograms, Glo Worms, My Little Pony, He-man:Master of the Universe, The Snorks, She-Ra, ThunderCats, Gi-Joe, Transformers, ALF, PoundPuppies and way too many more to name.

So, who all is wanting go back in time to 1980-1995? You know, just for all this...sweet, sweet memories.

So, there you go. Complete randomness, complete with wonderful memories and lots of questions. You're still wondering why a bunch of high school girls thought that "Hairy Cletus" was an appropriate name for a wad of hair? It's kinda like my Uncle CrAzY Bacon, it just made sense at the time.

A Little Help From My Friends...

One night this week, Tiffany and I had a long phone conversation. During our chat, she mentioned how and why she disliked/hated Jack Hanna. (I really thought he was a likeable person until now.) All because he, well.....

FaceBook Wall-to-Wall:
Thursday, Feb. 25th

between Nikki & Tiffany

about three hours ago

Nikki > Tiffany: I'm still laughing about the walrus comment and Jack Hanna finger-raping poor animals' bung-holes.

(Haha! She said Bung-Holes!)

Tiffany ~ LOL!!!! OMG! Did you see that Shamu killed a trainer at Seaworld yesterday?! YIKES!!!
11 minutes ago

Nikki ~ Yep...I'm deeply saddened by this tragic event!
8 minutes ago ·

Tiffany ~ And there was a news bulletin that there was a plot to poison the Food supply at Fort Jackson in December (When Todd was still in AIT) Possibly by the 91Limas the Arabic translators. The Army detained 5 guys and are doing a full criminal investigation and they don't know if their motives were terrorist related.
about a minute ago

Nikki ~ OMG! Clay told me that all the people that worked in the DFAC @ Jackson during BCT were on parole from jail....Craziness!
2 seconds ago ·

Okay, so back to the story....

Yep, Mr. Hanna is a dirty man. Apparently, Tiffany saw Jack "Finger Raper" Hanna at SeaWorld in Orlando one year and hasn't been able to stomach the idea of the man since. See, like in the picture above, you never see where his hands are. Proof that Jack is up to no good, according to Tiffany. The whole idea to me is absurd, but Tiffany isn't attending the Opening Season Festivities at SeaWorld San Antonio this weekend because she doesn't want her children near "Jack the Raper" even if she bought season passes.

I'm glad I made friends with Tiffany, if I hadn't the majority of this blog would have never existed (including this post.) See, sometimes you need a little help from your friends. Which made me think of Joe Cocker and his cover of The Beatles song and then lead me on the quest for the entire 6 Season DVD collection of "The Wonder Years". Such DVD collection doesn't exist (as of now), but how many of us girls thought that Winnie was awesome and Kevin was kinda good-looking in a nerdy way. (Epiphany!~My dear friend Brett is the real life Kevin, grown up.) I have proof.

Okay, well Brett is slightly fuller in the face than Fred, but maybe it's the good guy/boy-next door image they both gave off circa 1990 or during Youth we sang the theme song to "The Wonder Years" and "Cheers".

(Sorry, Brett I stole your photos off your Facebook profile pictures. Maybe one day I'll be famous and you'll forgive me, if not tough cookies. And yes, you do kinda look like that dude from MallCop or whatever else he played in.)

What would you do if I sang out of tune?

(click above for the one of the best TV Shows ever)

A Trip Down Memory Lane...

So, I enjoyed a trip down memory lane, courtesy of my pal Kris or Will (whichever name he goes by now) Maybe he has the same problem that I have with my name(s). See this is what happens when your Mom names you the 2 most popular names in the 1980's and then chooses to call you by a nickname. Anyway, Kris (Will) FB status the other morning was: I am missing Summershine today! See Kris (Will) and I worked together on summer as Summershiners (click here for details) at the Cape Hatteras KOA. As a Summershiner we scrubbed toilets, we prayed and had fun. I remember it was almost like yesterday.....

It's Time to Shine...The Truth According to Dan!

(Click here to view video)

This more or less is the Dan and Brian show, but some I remembered the fun times and wonderful memories. I miss Summershine too! And just to let you know Brian ate/drank whatever came out of the Human Blender 2000 & ONE at least once a week. (hangs head and shakes) I remember all the funny skits during Saturday Night Live (our SNL) and the little girl who peed her pants from laughing so hard. I remember making Hurricane Fries in the Cafe with George, banana bikes that could possibly rip a small boys testicles off while riding (see above picture), Friday night bonfires on the beach, driving an hour to get to a Wal-Mart or McDonald's, Punky taking pictures on the beach (this is one of her shots of Clay & I in the seaoats). Oh and how could I forget my near-death experience there (I've had several, but this was the near-death experience of 2001.) with Kris (I mean Will.) So, I'm laying on my stomach on the couch one day at our beach house and napping. Kris(Will) though it would be funny to sit on me, I'm just putting it out there that Kris isn't a small boy. Ever heard Roy D. Mercer ask "How Big 'a Boy Are Ya?" Well, Kris could scare the bejesus out of Ole Roy! So, he sits on me and I can't breathe, talk or signal for help (my arms are pinned down by his girth). So, what's a girl to do?

All I'm saying is...this is how a fart saved my life. Thank God for flatulence, because it may one day save your life. A Mighty Wind.....

Whoa Father! We got to slow down!

Back To Being An Omnivore

FYI- the state of Texas doesn't support the needs of Vegetarians. There was no vegetables in sight, just french fries and ketchup. Also, I was miserable without my chicken and fish for the 2 weeks I attempted Vegetarianism. Kudos to those who live this lifestyle, it's very hard. Meat byproducts are in EVERYTHING! It was a real eye-opener to take on the challenge. I know I said ONE month, but you know...it's difficult. Needless to say, I'm back to eating meat. (Bojangle's was so good this morning.)

So, I once again traveled to Texas to see my husband for a Valentine's Day weekend getaway. We had a really good time. We had lots of fun: enjoyed a late lunch at Bennihana's with a $4 discount (What the heck?), I mastered the interstate system of San Antonio in a rental car, shared a 50 piece Chicken Nugget meal for Valentine's Day dinner and a BBQ/cookout with my husband's company on Monday evening and even some illegal activity took place. ~Wait! I really cannot eloborate on the details of what happened, but all I can tell you is that we didn't get caught or arrested for stealing government property. However, I did return the property (twice) and will not be facing federal charges! :) It was a great trip!

The Thrill of Love

I have the best husband I could ask for; he loves me unconditionally, he knows me like a true friend and will be with me through the end. He has brought a new meaning to the "Thrill of Love" and makes me smile each day. He is my best friend, he is my lover, he is the father of my children, he is the man I married and he is the man I love deeply.

We loved with a love that was more than love. ~Edgar Allan Poe

Happy Valentine's Day!

Approaching the End of Week 2 Veggie-Style

Okay, so I started two weeks ago Saturday on the Lacto-Ovo Vegetarian Diet. I had a small slip up. The other night I went out to eat sushi with my sister-in-law Rebekah. Well, I had mushroom soup (made with chicken broth) and California rolls (made inside-out, containing cucumber, crab meat or imitation crab stick, and avocado; and often the outer layer of rice (in an inside-out roll) is sprinkled with toasted sesame seeds or tobiko, fish eggs)and a Philly roll (smoked salmon, avocado and cream cheese). It was delicious! It was awesome! However, I'm still cooking/eating veggies things. Tonight I fixed Italian Mac and Cheese (30 minute Meals with Rachael Ray) for dinner. But in lieu of the chicken stock, I substituted vegetable broth and instead of Italian sausage, I used Gimme Lean Sausage sprinkled with Italian seasoning. It turned out really well and I couldn't tell a difference.

However, my veggie diet maybe ending in the very near future. It's really out of my hands at this point, I'm leaving for Texas on Saturday. I am so excited to be spending Valentine's Day with my husband! However, I don't believe they have any vegetables in the entire state, just giant slabs of beef. I'm really going to try and stick with my vegetarian diet, but if Clay & I come across the "Ole 96er" in a Texas Steakhouse, you're gonna hear me say: "No Problem. If I can get a dessert down him, think you can throw in a couple of Paul Bunyan hat's for the kids?"

OMGosh! That Chicken Leg is Begging Me to Eat It!

Okay, so the whole Veggie-lifestyle is going good. However, the start of week 2, I've been tempted. I've done really well, I feel better, but I have a nagging craving for chicken and fish. I stopped by Bojangles Monday evening to pick up dinner for the boys following swim lessons. I normally don't get fast-food to eat for dinner, but this was an exception. Chris had swim lessons, Ayden just left daycare and I didn't feel like cooking. I brought our dinner back home and we enjoyed a sit-down meal together as a family. I had vegetarian sushi (not Bojangles) and Sweet Tea. Chris had a sausage biscuit and seasoned fries with ranch dressing. (He did really good at his swimming lesson.) Ayden gobbled up Cajun pintos, season fries and a chicken leg with the delightfully delicious crunchy breading. *sigh* You know how in commercials they make food really appealing, but you'd NEVER get it like that in real life. Well, this one time, this particular drumstick had leapt off a commercial shoot and into our take-out box. *It was TEMPTATION!* I really wanted to take the chicken leg out of the little guy's hand. I didn't, promise. I nearly OD'd on sodium from the amount of soy sauce I put on my sushi. Maybe next time I'll just make a bowl of rice, let it get cold and eat it with soy sauce. Anyway, the chicken smelt so good. But, I thought about my veggie friends, who I personally committed to trying this out HARDCORE for a whole month. Oh, this is so hard to do. But, I must prevail. I’ve got six recipes that I would like to try and remake with TVP or a veggie alternative. I’m going to push myself the next 19 days. (Thank God I picked a short month to do this.) I’m going to cross that finish line with my head held high knowing I didn’t give in to *Temptation!* Funny enough there are chickens in one on my favorite Muppet clips!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bv5RQyV3OWQ

Segway Tours for the Rich & Famous

Okay, so I’m going back to Texas in April and taking the boys. The whole “Hurry Up & Wait” thing the Army has going on is getting a bit annoying. However, we’ll be together as a family again for the long Easter weekend. It’s going to be so much fun. My youngest, Ayden turns 3 on Good Friday and we’re doing a SeaWorld birthday for him. (His Mommy & Daddy loves him so much.) I know a little over the top for a 3rd birthday, but come on we’re vacationing in San Antonio for Spring Break. Chris, my oldest is excited about flying. That’s all he’s talking about. This is what I hear all day.

“Mommy, we got to fly to Texas to see Daddy, so it can be Ayden’s birthday. Oh, and SeaWorld!”

I’m looking up deals online, inviting family and friends to join us. I’m excited. When I went to Texas a little over 3 weeks ago. (Wow, it’s been that long. Felt like I just got back.) Clay & I saw people doing Segway Tours around the Alamo. It looked really cool. It was a bit expensive, but looked well worth the price. Thinking about a breakfast tour at 6:30 in the morning. Sounds neat! So, I wonder if they have a side car or basket for the boys to ride in? I doubt, but it would be funny to see. I’m not rich, nor famous, but I’m riding a Segway with a cute pink helmet! So, I’m checking lots of things off on my imaginary bucket list I have going in my mind.

Flying with Children-Check.

Segway tour-Check.

SeaWorld-Check.

A Texas-sized Birthday for my little boy-Check.

A Riverwalk Boat Tour-Check.

Driving a rental on the vast highway system in Texas-Check. (I’m not thrilled about that one, but it must be done.)

The good thing is that this trips comes with perfect timing. I’ll be able to eat meat and meat by-products (If I wish.) while in Texas. March 1st ends the lacto-ovo vegetarian lifestyle for me.(If I want.) BTW-I started the whole Vegetarian kick two days early. Yep and it’s going great so far. No temptation from meat yet. I’ve made mock chicken salad from this neat food product called TVP. Google it. It’s going to be easier than I thought, just because of using these new ingredients to cook with. Tofu, TVP, Tofurkey, etc. It’s a challenge in the kitchen, but it’s something I enjoy. :)

Oh, and we’re having little Ayden’s birthday dinner at the County Line, screw the Rainforest Café. I want a jumbo, no-no a Texas-sized Sweet Tea with Lime with my dinner and a Riverwalk boat ride following Ayden’s Texas-sized birthday dinner. Can you tell I’m excited? I really am super excited. Now, who’s coming with me?