Drinking Like A Fish.....

I’m needing to close the

1300 mile gap in my marriage.

It's taken its toll on me today.

Ever had a really good day and then out of nowhere turns to pure $hit?

Well, that was today. Hence the giant Appletini that sits before me. I'm letting the kids eat as many cookies as they want and stay up as late as they wish tonight. Because I just don't care!

The past 6 months I've been positive, up-beat and never acted like the world was falling apart. But, TODAY has just turned it all around and put it into perspective. I see all my ArmyWife friends moving and making their preparations to reunite with their spouses and begin their journey together as a Military family. These are the same women that were along side me during the roughest 10 weeks of our lives (Basic Combat Training). I should be doing the same as them, traveling cross country to PCS (permanent change of station) with their families and where the hell am I? Still here waiting. I can't blame anyone for this. It was totally unforeseen, Clay's injury and being placed on MedHold, but come on!

I'm tired of being the visual Mom & Dad to my kids, separated from my husband and just the day to day of being apart. Clay's tired of being the man on the phone and the man in the pictures. I know I can count my blessings that he is still stateside and not overseas. It's rough, I know this is part of what we signed up for when Clay joined the Military, but seriously....Why did today have to be the day for me to start feeling like $hit?

Let me go ahead and put this out there....DO NOT bring up this topic with me or I'm liable to rip your head off. I'm venting....and that's what a blog is for. Not for your personal entertainment or just so you know what's going on in my life. Don't feel sorry for me or have pity on my family, because if you've never been in this exact situation as a wife or husband, don't go there with me! My family's situation is unique...so, please spare me the comments.

On with my rant.....

It's been hard. I've put up with enough crap in the last 6 months to build a small village out of it. I've endured enough drama to last a lifetime. I just want my family together, just the FOUR of us. Not sitting here at my desk, typing my heart out and peeling my arm off a sticky place where my drink spilt on a Friday night secretly wishing Clay would walk through the door. I want to be out meeting other Army families, playing board games/cards, scheduling play-dates and everything else that comes with it. I've been stuck in limbo too long and so has Clay.

"Hurry up and Wait"...We're living US Army slogan one day at a time.

I want to go home...where ever that may be.